DukaGuru Actually, Stay-at-home mom never thought about becoming a stay-at-home mom so quickly.
My imagination was that I would start being a SAHM when my son Vay started high school, but then for some reason I decided to try to be a stay-at-home mom.
And now, Being Stay-at-home mom it’s been almost two years since I became a stay-at-home mom.
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It’s amazing how it feels to be a mother who just stays at home, especially because of this pandemic which is causing tremendous stress. LOL.
The first quarter of 2018, before being stay-at-home mom I decided to resign from the telco company where I worked for many years. At that time, I had a discussion with Vay’s father, whether I should stay there but move to a sales position (which I don’t like) or should I apply for early retirement.
Then we finally agreed, I asked for a pendi so that I could have time for my son Vay, who was already in upper class.
How did it feel for the first time as a stay-at-home mom?
The first time, it felt weird, haha.
Before Stay-at-home mom, I’m used to a regular routine: getting up early, then making breakfast and coffee to take in the car, then leaving as soon as Vay has been picked up by the driver at 6.20, then arriving at the office at less than 8.
Then move all day until the afternoon, and return home after maghrib. And I’ve been working for over sixteen years! Don’t grind it.
The day got stay-at-home mom, The first day I enjoyed being a retiree (that’s how we telco graduates call ourselves retirees) I filled it with really enjoying my vacation.
Have a guilt-free vacation because usually when I’m on leave I think about work.
But after a month or two, boredom started to die. The problem is because I’m used to doing activities, it’s a shame when my kids are just dumbfounded during school. I also bought new books, and then I started taking photos with the community more regularly.
Doing small projects
The first two months of resigning, I became the team of my former boss, working on a project. This first project work opened my eyes. Oh my gosh, why did I have to wait so long to resign, hahaha…
Because when we are outside, we can see what opportunities we can take, at least in my opinion. If you stay in the box for too long, the focus is just there.
Eh, I’m working again, cancel it, so stay-at-home mom
In the third month after resigning, it turned out that I was destined to return to work for an OTT.
At that time I was offered to work freelance for them, and I gladly accepted, because it meant I didn’t have to go in every day, right. So I only work four days a week, I’m free to enter which day. As usual at eight o’clock I was there, back to the routine.
But then after two months of work, they negotiated so I could work full time. It’s because this company is really a baby and they need me to be able to full-time there.
I also agreed, but at that time I had promised myself that it would not be too long if I worked full time, at most one year.
The problem is, before being stay-at-home mom working in this new place I have to go home after eight o’clock at night every day.
I am a person who is very committed to work, so I can’t play and stay at work even though it’s past office hours.
One example of not having the heart to leave a creative team that is chasing a deadline. Sometimes if they need to work outside on the weekends, I will also accompany them, so that we are all equally excited. Brainstorming together so work gets done faster.
But on the other hand, my son is starting to prepare for his final exams, right, and I also feel guilty because in this new place he really never had time to accompany him to study again. Weekends are also left behind.
The choice: do you want a decent income but no time for children, or can you have free time for your children, but maybe your income is minimal?
Then resign again and become a stay-at-home mom again
And finally, in the second quarter of last year, I had the opportunity to resign again.
Then after that, until now, it’s been 20 months, I’ve really become a stay-at-home mom.
What are your activities while being a stay-at-home mom?Pick up children from school.
Got Stay-at-home mom I only occasionally pick up my son to school. He prefers to go and return with a pick-up car, and I can understand the reason, he is already in his pre-teen years, socializing is the main thing.
First, usually there is spare half an hour before the driver arrives, so he has time to play with his friends after school hours are over (if with me, you have to be on time).
Second, in the pick-up car he can chat and have fun with his friends, if it’s with his mother, it’s just like that, hahaha…
I usually just become a backup driver. For example, he enjoys playing in the library with his friends, in whatever corner, so the driver comes to the library looking for him, he’s not there, he’s left, he’ll be picked up later. Then he called me from school, asking for help to be picked up, because he lives alone. LOL.
I started to learn to make simple cakes, which are easy, without stress, the important thing is to fill the time for learning. It took some practice before it worked, and I’m happy when got stay-at-home mom. When I was still working, I learned how to bake using my emotions, I couldn’t wait.
I bought new books.
In order not to wake up in the morning, I buy new books and spend time reading.
Accompanying children to learn.
Well, since last year until the beginning stay-at-home mom of the year leading up to the preparation for the 6th grade final exam, I was more regularly accompanying him to study. It’s really not easy, because all Kinderfield subjects are in English,
so if I want to teach him, it means I have to be very proficient, right, which is of course not. If I say, I’m already a teacher at his school, hehe.
So I had to find a source that matched what he learned at school so that it could be a provision to accompany him.
Now after almost eight months of school from home due to the pandemic, I am also grateful that I am a stay-at-home mom, because I can full time accompany her to study. Even though it’s full of emotion… ️
After resigning from the OTT company, I decided to actually become a freelancer.
There are several small work projects that I have worked on for some time, not far from digital marketing and content, even though the income has not been able to reach the numbers when working in-house.
However as stay-at-home mom, this part-time job for me is more challenging and at the same time sharing knowledge, because there is a small team that helps. There are those from former teams in OTT, then there are also new ones. Now reverse.
In the past, I was the one who gave the brief to the supervisor, now I am the one who receives the brief and must receive feedback from the client if someone is not satisfied. The way of thinking must be totally switched, then it must be as flexible as possible.
The pandemic has definitely turned everything around. Many plans were not implemented (I’m sure there were many who had the same fate), there was also no work. For the sake of filling the time, I’ll just do the gardening.
As long as I’m a working mom, I rarely see pages. Now be more diligent. Just tidying up what is there, like repotting (sorry you know the pot is already crumbling) and adding planting media.
Old plants that had been neglected, such as abandoned frangipani saplings, I combined the two in one pot and filled the soil.
Then there is the mother-in-law’s tongue plant, which is already big like a forest, I have to cut it in half, just make a line. Then the old Chinese lemon tree was cut down, and the many suji leaves were also thrown away.
Oh dear huh? I don’t think so, because the mother-in-law’s tongue has its roots everywhere, in a month or so, it has grown, I don’t know where it is. The guard is here, in the photo below. :p
I made a small green house in that place.
The contents are just pots of chili trees and vegetables. Green chilies, have been around for a long time, planted in the front side of the soil and some are in pots, they are already bearing fruit.
I’m waiting for the new ones to be planted, cayenne pepper and red chili, they’re already two months old, they’re already tall, but the red chili has flowers.
So, this month I also saw a new plant growing, a kind of beautiful caladium, its Latin name when I took a photo using Picture This: Heart of Jesus, even though I’ve never planted it in the past, you know.
In the past, there was only plain taro whose leaves were up to 1 meter long, and it had been cut down because it was ALREADY LIKE A FOREST. The plain taro keeps growing, the seeds are still in the ground, it doesn’t stop appearing.
Well, this caladium with green leaves and pink veins on its leaves was probably grown thanks to seeds from birds that came into the yard. Indeed, a lot of birds like to play here, but my chili seeds are eaten completely (emotionally!), that’s why I made a green house to be safe.
This smart also grows, close to the trunk of the former giawas tree that I have wrapped the vines of.
In the front pot, I also found another caladium, the type is Florida Clown, according to Google, which has pink spots, grows with other plants in the same pot.
Transferred straight to an empty pot, and now it’s grown pretty. Then I also met the Xanadu Philodendron tree, an ornamental plant whose leaves look like fingers. Grows in the ground, still small, but the roots are very deep.
I found out when I was moving a flower pot that had just been cut out, how come there is a beautiful tree that seems to be on the rise too. Yes, I’ve moved it to a pot so it’s neat.
I don’t know where the seeds came from, I don’t even know. That’s if you’ve been working all this time, you don’t know what you have in the garden hehe…
The plant that my mom bought first, Taro, the species is Elephant ears, I’ve also moved it from back to front, so it’s pretty. It’s already ten years old, I don’t remember anymore. Just lift the pot, it has to be two people, heavy.
Then I finished cutting the dragon fruit tree trunk, I wanted to plant it on the side.
It’s really fitting when you check back, there are iron frames and poles that are not used, so they can be made for dragon trees.
Yes, it’s a matter of fruiting or not, it’s a matter of later, hahaha…
I want to buy ornamental plants that are hits but why are the prices so expensive? Stop if that’s the case, it’s thrifty…
How do you feel?
For a dozen years financially independent, now losing a steady source of income it feels mixed.
Because so far I have never been used to asking a partner for personal things, so inevitably you have to do super careful calculations. What is not very important should be ruled out.
What used to be two or three times a month has now become once a month or once every two months.
I swear I’ve been very frugal since becoming a stay-at-home mom, especially since the pandemic. Actually, a green house is a tertiary one, but I feel that this should be there, it’s a shame if the vegetables are damaged by rats or birds.
When a friend shouts at WAG, “Hooray… tomorrow is a day off together!” Me and maybe some friends who are not in office workers don’t give any comments. Lha sometime it feels the same, hahaha…
On the one hand, I often miss the office atmosphere, because work is not only about earning but also about studying. That’s why several times I get an in-house quote I always consider if there’s anything I can learn there.
What I miss is dressing and grooming every morning when I want to go to the office, even though I used to be at work and dress up perfunctory, but it’s still different, isn’t it. Now while at home, I only use a moisturizer. ️
But on the other hand, I am grateful to be a stay-at-home mom, because at this time when my child is going through puberty, I can spend time getting to know his character, following his physical and psychological development, and also getting to know my abilities as a mother.
Do you still want to work again or not?
I can never turn down an attractive offer. In terms of other than offering, also whether I can learn a lot (as I said above), and also the time. If you say which one is convenient, it’s better to do freelance work because the time is flexible,
it’s just that with that flexibility, the income might not be as big as working in-house.
Tips for being a stay-at-home mom
For mommies who used to work and then decided to resign, how can you stay sane and not lose your confidence?
Stop comparing and make peace with yourself
I always say this to myself, that my life month there again. I have to be honest that this is my choice , and I have become a SAHM. Don’t compare yourself with friends who are still working there, because you will be stressed and feel less confident.
Always be thankful being stay-at-home mom
When that feeling of sadness comes, I start to try to see it from a different side.
I am even more grateful, because it turns out that there are new things that I can get because I became a SAHM. Like, now you have more time with your kids.
Three months ago, I left the house for a job handover meeting with a client.
Spending a long time on the road, going and coming home, made me think that this is what makes me not miss office work: stuck in traffic!
So SAHM and part-time work allow me to really allocate my time well.
Support system from family and friends
If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, of course you have to go through many considerations, including discussing with your partner.
However, one support will be lost, to make sure you both agree with the conditions that will occur later.
Then never leave the friendship.Being stay-at-home mom I have several groups of friends, ranging from friends from the old office to friends taking pictures together.
Most of them are in-house workers, some are freelancers. Having close friends is part of keeping yourself sane.
Sharing jokes, venting, making small contests between friends, sharing recipes, will make the heart always happy and can relieve stress.happy stay-at-home mom
Yes, that’s roughly what it feels like to be a stay-at-home mom for almost two years, full of ups and downs.
Being a working mom, then becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have felt the advantages and disadvantages.
Releasing a “position” is not easy, but actually we are not letting go of a position, but only changing positions. From a working-mom who used to manage work, now a stay-at-home mom who fully manages the family.
With a new position as a stay-at-home mom, there are actually a lot of new things to learn! For example, me.
In the past, I used to be a producer and director when I made video content for campaigns, now it’s the same at home, only the terms are different. Foreman, for this project, work on that. ️
How? Who used to be a working mom and is now a stay-at-home mom?